How to Have a Growth Mindset

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Your elevation may require your isolation.

A Story…

One day a man found a cocoon of a butterfly with a small opening. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole until it suddenly stopped making any progress and looked like it was stuck.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, although it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man didn’t think anything of it and sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge to support the butterfly. But that didn’t happen. The butterfly spent the rest of its life unable to fly, crawling around with tiny wings and a swollen body.

Despite the kind heart of the man, he didn’t understand that the restricting cocoon and the struggle needed by the butterfly to get itself through the small opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to prepare itself for flying once it was out of the cocoon.

Moral of the story: Our struggles in life develop our strengths. Without struggles we never grow and never get stronger, so it’s important for us to tackle challenges on our own, and not be relying on help from others.

Today’s transformational tips will assist in your growth:

  1. Get back to nature. Give yourself time in the woods, trekking in the mountains, walking in open meadows, or walking barefoot on the beach. When you take the time to drink in the beauty of the natural world, you will release your belief that things and accumulations are needed for you to feel complete.
  1. Give yourself the gift of a silent retreat every day, even if it is only for a few moments. Go back to that key of HIGHER AWARENESS — shutting down the inner dialogue — and know that this is your ticket to peace.
  1. Slow yourself down with moments of contemplative silence. That is, do nothing. In these moments, appreciate your body and all of your physical universe. Notice the inner waves of pleasure that you experience.

How to Get Peace of Mind

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Ego say, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.”

Spirit says, “Find your peace and then everything will fall into place.” 

Once there was a farmer who realized that he had lost his watch in the barn. This watch had been passed down for several generations and had sentimental values attached to it. After searching high and low among the hay for a long while; he gave up and thought of taking help from a group of children, who were playing outside.

The children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the entire stacks of hay but still could not find the watch. Just when the farmer was about to give up, a little boy came to him and asked to give him another chance. The farmer agreed and sent the little boy back into the barn alone. After a while the boy came out with the watch in his hand.

The farmer was both happy and surprised and so he asked the boy how he succeeded where the rest had failed. The boy replied, “I did nothing but sit on the ground and listen. In silence, I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction.”

A peaceful mind can think better than a worked up and pre-occupied mind.

Today’s transformational tips will help you keep peace in your mind:

  1. Attempt to remove all enemies from your thoughts. The same intelligence that flows through you, flows through all human beings. When you know that, you are connected to all, you cannot fathom striking out at others, let alone feeling hatred for them.
  1. Keep in mind that grievances bring turmoil, while communication brings peace. If you are angry at someone in your life, work at communicating with that person about your aggrieved feelings — no matter how difficult it maybe.
  1. In the midst of a tumultuous meeting or a frantic encounter with your children (or anyone for that matter), get up and excuse yourself for a moment. Give yourself five minutes to get centered, and ask God this question: “What is my purpose here, and how may I serve you in the midst of this confusion?”

Having a “peace of mind” is not a strenuous job, it is an effortless process!  So set peace of mind as your highest goal and organize your mind around it.

Why is it so Hard to Live in the Present Moment

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Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.

 What is mindfulness?  Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment. In other words, it’s being present with experience.

There are many benefits to being mindful, including improving:

  1. Overall well-being (less likely to get caught up in worry, doubt & fears)
  2. Physical health (relieve stress, treat heart disease, improve sleep, etc.)
  3. Mental health (help with depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, etc.)

Why do we have a hard time being mindful?

There are many reasons why being mindful is hard, but today I’ll speak on three of them:

  1. You don’t really understand what it is. Mindfulness is not about moving through life in a happy haze. It’s about choosing to pay attention to the moment with kindness and curiosity. It’s about noticing when your mind has wandered and bringing it back to what’s right in front of you.
  1. You’re too distracted and don’t make time to do it. It really doesn’t take a lot of effort. You can take a deep breath before you hit the SEND button, or notice your breathing while standing in line, or even notice a wandering mind while in a meeting.
  1. You’re only practicing when you’re upset. The more you practice paying attention to the present moment when you’re calm and happy, the easier and more effective it’ll be when you’re freaking out.

Today’s transformational tips will help you practice mindfulness:

  1. Relax about the future, and let it go. Instead, make an active commitment to enjoy this day a little more. It is very difficult to accomplish anything when you are stressed over the outcome. When you relax and get peaceful, you become inspired and efficient.
  1. Remember that what you think about expands. Since you have the power to make your inner world work for you or against you, use it to create the images of bliss that you want to occur in your material world. Eventually, that inner bliss will be the blueprint that you consult as the architect of your everyday life.
  1. Develop the ability to witness your thoughts by stepping back and watching them enter and exit your mind. Just observing the flow of thoughts wills low the mind down to the still point where you can experience God.

You have more control of your life than you realize.  It just requires being in the present moment and focus on what you want in that moment.

How to Stop Judging Yourself and Others

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The soul tends always to judge others by what it thinks of itself. -Giacomo Leopardi-

Despite our best efforts, we all judge others. It might be over small things, like a seeing a woman with tight-fitting clothes. Or it might be over bigger issues, such as when we treat others differently solely because of their mental health, singling them out as different, strange or someone to avoid.

Understand that our perceptions of others reveal so much about our own personality.

Studies have found that how positively you see other people shows how satisfied you are with your own life, and how much you are liked by others.

Whereas a huge list of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively – things like narcissism, antisocial behavior and other various personality disorders – not to mention there’s a greater likelihood of depression as well.

No one likes to be judged.  Why?  Because judging hurts – ourselves and those that we judge.  Therefore, we must be very careful and stop doing it.

If you’re struggling to stop judging others, here are some tips to help:

  1. If you see someone who is very different from you in physical appearance or in age or in economic status, use your mind to send them love rather than a judgmental thought.
  1. Make a daily effort to look upon others (including yourself) without condemnation. Every judgment takes you away from your goal of peace. Keep in mind that you do not define anyone with your judgment; you only define yourself as someone who needs to judge.
  1. Notice the acts of kindness that other people do, rather than their wrongdoing. We are all good, decent, loving souls, but we occasionally get lost. When you can focus on the good in another and hold that in your mind, you are acting from your higher self.

We should never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path; but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.

Stop Playing the Blaming Game

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Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it. ~Eckhart Tolle.

 

When something goes wrong in your life, is your first reaction to blame someone else?

You know, things like saying that the person in front of you was driving so slow it made you late, or blaming lack of time, your children or other circumstances for not getting your work done – or even if you slip and fall on some water and so the world is out to get you!

If so, you’re engaging in what is commonly known as the blame game.

I know you’re familiar with this game…. situations in which one someone blames others for something bad or unfortunate rather than attempting to accept responsibility and seek solutions.

Why do we play this game?  Well, there are several reasons why.  Some include:

  1. It’s a defense mechanism. It helps us preserve our sense of self-esteem by avoiding awareness of our own flaws or failings.
  2. It’s a tool we use when we’re in attack mode – yes, we use it to try to hurt others (knowingly or not), and
  3. Quite simply it’s easier to blame someone else other than accept responsibility.

Regardless of why we play it, understand that the more you play the more you lose.

Today’s transformational tips will help you accept your fallibility on your route toward self-improvement:

  1. Take full responsibility for all the events in your life. When you blame something outside of yourself for the circumstances you are experiencing, you give control of your life to that outer phenomenon. When you release blame, and go within, you will always find what you need.
  1. When you feel an inclination to blame someone else for your circumstances, take an instant to say a prayer of thanks for the lesson. The lesson is to become aware that you are the one experiencing the feeling.
  1. Be peaceful, experience silence, meditate, and really listen to God. The result will be that you will find the solution to each of your problems within yourself.

Owning up to your role in bad situations will help you grow from your experiences, so embrace this imperfect universe and the fallible beings in it, including yourself and others —and stop blaming people for it.

A Very Important Life Skill to Have

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The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.

Being able to communicate effectively is the most important of all life skills.

Communication is the process by which we exchange information between one place to another. It is a process where we try as clearly and accurately as we can, to convey our thoughts, intentions and objectives.

Understand that there are two types of responses that can be received from a person: 

1. A loving response

2. A cry for help

When your interpretation of a response from someone is other than one of love, ask yourself the following question, “What’s going on with this person that is making him or her treat me this way?

Keep in mind when someone responds to you other than what you expected (which is a loving response), their reaction is based upon one of two things:

(1) their own mental state or

(2) their interpretation of what has (and sometimes has not) been communicated by you.  

In other words, all you can control is your ability to communicate more effectively, you cannot control the interpretation of it.  

Additionally, understand that sometimes the response you receive has nothing to do with you!

It all can be very complicated, but here are 3 transformation tips that can help you stay in a calm, patient space so that you can respond in a loving way: 

1.  Begin keeping track of the judgmental thoughts that you allow into your mind each day.  Increasing your awareness of this judging habit will help you consult your loving presence as these judgmental attitudes surface.

2. Give more of yourself, ask less in return.  When serving others become a priority, you will start asking the universe, on a daily basis, “How may I serve?” 

3. Always give a loving response. Think and when appropriate say, “how can I make you feel better?

 Commit to having fun-loving response in all circumstances and your life will change forever.

How to Lighten Your Load

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You only lose what you cling to. (Buddha)

Dramatic life changes can occur when you make a conscious effort to only surround yourself with those higher value things that you truly desire in your life.

Do you have an assortment of stuff that you don’t use or simply takes up space?

Do you have ongoing obligations to things that add little to no value to your life that you wouldn’t agree to do if you were asked to commit to them today?

If you answered “yes’’ any of these questions, guess what? It’s time to lighten your load.  Here are three things you can do to start:

  1. Let go of the concept that more is better. This idea keeps us constantly seeking more stuff. You can replace the more-is-better belief with an inner serenity that does not need “more” to be acceptable.
  1. Lighten your material load, starting TODAY. As you do so, less energy is spent hoarding, insuring, moving, polishing, and so on. The less attached you are to your possessions, and the more you are able to share them with others unconditionally, the more peaceful your life will be.
  1. Practice generosity. People who give willingly of their possessions and their money are not doing it because they “have it to give.” They are coming from a special heart space that is attracted to serving and sharing. We can all give something in the service of others and in service of our higher-selves.

By learning to let go of the non-essential things that contribute very little value to your life, it will enable you to make room for things of higher value.

How to Get Rid of Self-Limiting Beliefs

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If you think you can do a thing or can’t do a thing, you are right! (Henry Ford)

 

Are you familiar with the way circus elephants are trained?

When an elephant is small and weak, one leg is tied with a rope to a wooden stick.  Initially, the elephant tries to break free but the rope is too strong and the elephant is convinced that breaking free is impossible.

Years later when the baby elephant is grown to 6 or 7 tons, despite its enormous strength, it’s still easily constrained by a light rope and a thin wooden stake.  The elephant learns its limitations when it is small and weak.  It remains convinced for the rest of its life that what was once true will always be true.

The elephant remains imprisoned by limiting beliefs when clearly it has the strength to pull that itty-bitty stake out the ground and free itself at any moment.

Now I ask you this…

In what ways are you like a big powerful elephant who is convinced you are weak and powerless?  In what areas of your life are you convinced you can’t?

The truth is you posses the key to infinite power.

Here are three ways to tap into that infinite power within you:

  1. Discard self-limiting beliefs. Have a mini ritual of discarding a self-limiting belief by denying its validity and stating that you no longer subscribe to it. Do this often.
  1. Just be. Let go of all the beliefs that convince you of your inadequate and shortcomings.  Clean out that closet of worn-out loyalties to what you can and cannot do.  Just open yourself up right in this moment and just be.
  1. Release everything that you have been told is impossible or unrealistic and allow yourself the freedom to make your own contract with God about what is possible for you.

Observe yourself and become aware of your limiting beliefs that prevent you from living the life you deserve.  Just by becoming aware of them, you will see that you will start to make much more progress on your goals.

Self-Love Must Come First

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Before you can fully receive the love of another person, you must first love yourself.

Unfortunately, many people have a hard time giving this gift and are more concerned with giving love to others rather than giving it to themselves.

Self-love is the foundation for everything beautiful in life, including meaningful and healthy relationships, having a positive attitude and body image, increased self-esteem and overall peace, joy and happiness.

People come and go so it’s important to love yourself because that’s who you will be spending the rest of your life with.

Here are three things you can do TODAY to cultivate self-love:

      1. Work at being content with who you are, rather than pleasing others by being inauthentic. Say to yourself, “I am what I am, and it is okay as long as I am not hurting anyone else in the process.”
      2. Forgive yourself for your transgressions. See that mistakes are lessons for you to transcend. Release yourself from the tyranny of self-recrimination. Make the decision to be free.
      3. Look into a mirror and say out loud: “I love you, I value you, and I know that there is much more to you than what I see staring back at me.”

You will find yourself going beyond the physical you and removing many of your intrusive thoughts about defending yourself and attempting to prove your worth.

The greatest give you can give yourself is yourself — filled with self-love.

Are you ready for the happy life you deserve?  I invite you to join my free challenge: 7 Days of Self-Love.

Lessons in Life

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Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.

Lessons in life reminds us that we have a real reason to be here.

Here are 3 transform tips that will help you to move forward in your life and not focus on the past.

1. Give up hope for a better past

You cannot have a better past, so abandon that idea right now.  You did what you knew how to do, given the circumstances of your life.  Instead of indulging in regrets, let your thoughts remain on love, and let your actions stem from that love.

2. Learn from your lessons

Focus on what you can learn from your challenges and how to use them to add value to the lives of others.  Doing this will turn any adversity into an advantage.

3. Remember the lessons

This will help you so that you don’t have to continue repeating them.

Learning from your life lessons and working toward understanding them will promote progress and insight.

Own Your Health, Own Your Wealth, Own Your Life!