How to Get What You Want!

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Do you want to know how to get what you want? It’s simple.  Set goals.

Goals will help guide you to where you want to go.

However, it’s important that you have S.M.A.R.T goals.   S.M.A.R.T goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results Oriented, and Time Specified.

Specific – Your goals should be specific.  Instead of saying you want to lose weight, define how much weight you want to lose.

Measurable – You should be able to tell quickly and easily if you’ve met your goal. Develop a set of criteria that will be indicative of success or failure in meeting each of your goals.

Achievable – Set goals that are challenging but that are not incredibly difficult to achieve. Keep in mind that a challenging goal is motivating, but an impossible one is demotivating.

Results Oriented – Your goals should focus on the results you want to achieve, and not the activities you will undertake to get there. For example, “improved communication skills” is a result; “participating in a communication skills workshop” is an activity. It’s possible to complete activities and not achieve the desired result.

Time Specified – Set deadlines for achieving your goals. Well-developed goals come with time limits.

In additional to having S.M.A.R.T goals, make sure you do the following:

  • Write down your goals.
  • Make sure you set goals in each area of your life: health, financial, family, mental and spiritual.
  • Make sure your goals don’t conflict with each other.
  • Keep your goals with you
  • List a reason you want to achieve each goal.

Once you have your goals set, do whatever it takes to achieve them!

The Fire Within – 7 Steps to Develop Iron-Willed Discipline

 

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STEP 1: Defined Purpose: “I know what I want to achieve!”

The power behind self-discipline is having a deep-seated core emotion that begins, builds and sustains the self-discipline mindset.  This emotion will be aroused when we have a defined sense of purpose.  We need to know what it is we want to achieve.

 STEP 2: Models of Possibility – “If they can do it, then it’s possible for me too!”

When we see others achieving the things that we desire, it lets us know that it is possible. The realization is this, “They’re just like me.  If they can do it, then so can I!”

STEP 3: Sensory Vision – “I see and feel myself doing it. Now I know I can do it!”

With a purpose and sense of possibility (Steps 1 & 2 above), now it’s time to forge a strong emotional driving force.  This is done by creating a sensory-rich imagination of what life will be like when we achieved what we desire.

STEP 4: Planning – “I know what I have to do to achieve it!”

Now it’s time to create a concise, step-by-step plan or blueprint.  It will include what resources are needed and how long it will take.

STEP 5: Learning – “I can learn the knowledge and skills I need to achieve it!”

This is the understanding that we can learn the knowledge and skills necessary to achieve our vision.  This understanding will open up a whole new world of possibilities which will intensify our emotional fire within.

STEP 6: Persistence – “No matter how long it takes or how hard it is, I can do it!”

Now the fire of emotion becomes so strong that we develop the strength and fortitude to persist through difficulties, persevere through physical exhaustion and pain and be resilient – or continually bounce back and recover from setbacks and disappointments.

STEP 7: The Fire Within – This is the emotional force that drives the self-discipline mindset.

All of the steps above combine to build the internal emotional fire that drives our disciplined behavior. Now we have obsessive desire, passion and energy that will sustain us throughout our journey.  We have created a dynamic self-discipline mindset!

Emotion unchecked is wasted energy.  Emotion harnessed is the fuel for self-discipline.

3 Types of Motivation That Rarely Work

 

 

downloadMotivation is defined as the force that compels us to action. It drives us to work hard and pushes us to succeed. Motivation influences our behavior and our ability to accomplish goals.

Type 1: Evangelical:

An example of this type is when a motivational speaker comes to town and does a speech that is truly inspiring. Everyone feels pumped up by the ideas and slogans of the speaker. Within the next few days, you put in more effort in your work and feel more motivated. However, this motivation starts to dwindle after an artificial peak – even if you have notes or an audio recording from the speech.

The reason why this approach doesn’t work, is because it depends on an external factor to get you motivated.  It becomes like drug addiction: with time you need more and more of an artificial stimulant to reach the same level of motivation.

Type 2: External Rewards:

An example of this type would be rewards from your boss at work.

The reason why this one fails is the same reason we discussed above in the previous type: it also depends on an external motivator. However, this one creates a child-like dependence with short-term spurts of motivation.

Type 3: Fear:

If you don’t perform well, something undesirable happens. (i.e., losing your job)

The reason why this doesn’t work is because you rapidly go into a burn-out stage and start resenting doing the work. Anger brings less productivity, and less productivity bring more fear and you get stuck in a vicious cycle.

These are 3 types of external motivations that provide short-term results.

In order the sustain your motivation, it must come from within.

It is not just important to have a road map, but also having enough fuel to get where you want to go.

The self-disciplined achiever has a strong sensory blueprint and feedback system. He begins his journey by asking himself: If I can have anything I can imagine, what do I want? What is my purpose?

Throughout his journey he imagines his goals and creates new ones once he achieves them, or changes his goals as his reality changes. This is where a lot people get side-tracked: when they are faced with hardships or undesirable circumstances, they think they have failed and give up.

The self-disciplined achiever uses his visualizations as a reality check – he simply adjusts his course of action to fit his new reality.

 

Do you have role models?

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Role models are essential in your pursuit of success.  They provide the inspiration, style, example, and strategy that will help you accomplish your goals.

When choosing a role model, it’s important to make sure he or she is worth emulating.

Here are 10 proven characteristics of a self-disciplined achiever.

    1. A STRONG SENSE OF PURPOSE
      I know what I really want in life and I know how I’m going to get it – I may have to give up some things but that’s okay because it’s worth it in the long run!
    2. SEEKS OUT POSITIVE MENTORS
      Inspirational role models provide examples of focus and consistent effort to achieve the desired objective.
    3. A SENSORY RICH IMAGINATION
      Don’t see things as they are and asking ‘why’, but visualize things as they can be and ask ‘why not’. Visualize the outcome, and what will the accomplishment of the goal will look like.
    4. POSITIVE SENSORY ORIENTATION
      Failure is NOT an option, and NOT a recognizable experience. If you can see it, it will be true for your mind, and you will accomplish it. Why? Because your mind doesn’t know the difference between visualization and reality.
    5. SELF-ASSURED – DEEP ROOTED BELIEF IN ABILITY TO ACHIEVE
      H ave a confidence in yourself. If you believe you can do it, it will be only a matter of time before it is done.
    6. ABILITY TO PLAN & ORGANIZE 
      How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Take a methodical approach by breaking your goals down into a step-by-step process.  Then consistently work on at least one thing every single day.  And make sure you check you progress regularly to ensure you are on track.
    7. ABILITY TO ACQUIRE ESSENTIAL KSAs WHEN NECESSARY
      You must have a commitment to become educated with the necessary knowledge, skills and abilities as it relates to the accomplishment of the goal.
    8. KNOWS THE VIRTUE OF PATIENCE
      See time is a tool. Getting to your goals is half the fun of it! Enjoy the journey of success including setbacks. Learn from your experiences.
    9. PERSISTENT AND PERSEVERANCE
      Do not give up in the face of persecution or setbacks. You need to develop a stick-to-it-ness in spite of rejection or negative opinions. Be relentless in pursuit of the goal.
    10. VIEW WORK AS PLEASURE
      Be genuinely excited by your goals. Be interested in learning.  Don’t take yourself too seriously.

How many of these characteristics do you embody?

Those that you do not have, you can acquire!

What is Stress?

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Today I’m going to define self-discipline, describe problems associated with the lack of self-discipline and describe some benefits of being self-disciplined.

When you hear the word “self-discipline” what do you think?

Does it conjure up images of strictness, long stretches of boring or irritating work, self-sacrifice or self-denial?

Well guess what? Nothing could be further from the truth.

Truly self-disciplined people are not bored, unhappy nor are they suffering from any kind of deprecations. In fact, they have learned to have true joy and satisfaction from achieving their most cherished goals and dreams.

So, what is self-discipline?

Self-Discipline is your ability to work systematically and progressively toward a desired goal until it is achieved.

It’s the power to say, “This is what I really want in life and this is how I’m going to get it and if I have to give up some other things, I will because it’s worth it in the long run.”

It is the main ingredient that makes success possible for anyone who dreams of achieving great things. With it, you can accomplish everything! Without it, nothing worthwhile or lasting can be achieved.

Why?

Because lasting success without sustained effort, planning, the seasoning of time and persistence is not possible. In other words, shortcuts and success gimmicks lead only to mediocrity, disappointment and failure.

If it’s so effective? Why don’t more people have it? The answer is because unfortunately we live in a quick-fix society where effort and dedication are not the norm.

The truth is, without sacrifice and effort, most people will fail at what they set out to do.

The good news? Self-Discipline is a skill that can be learned and converted into a habit.

Besides being able to accomplish anything you desire, having self-discipline has other benefits as well:

  • It will increase your self-confidence and empower you with determination, fortitude and strength.
  • It will give you a new passion for life because you will become more energetic and have more of a drive to achieve.
  • It will sharpen and refine your thinking and analytical abilities, and my favorite,
  • It will magnify your creativity. How? When your limitations are eliminated, endless possibilities and ideas will continually flood your imagination.

In conclusion, talent, education and intelligence are not the sole keys to success. Self-discipline is a skill that can be learned but excellence takes time. And if you take the time to make having self-discipline a habit, it will unlock your innate power to achieve.

How to Have a Growth Mindset

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Your elevation may require your isolation.

A Story…

One day a man found a cocoon of a butterfly with a small opening. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole until it suddenly stopped making any progress and looked like it was stuck.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, although it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man didn’t think anything of it and sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge to support the butterfly. But that didn’t happen. The butterfly spent the rest of its life unable to fly, crawling around with tiny wings and a swollen body.

Despite the kind heart of the man, he didn’t understand that the restricting cocoon and the struggle needed by the butterfly to get itself through the small opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to prepare itself for flying once it was out of the cocoon.

Moral of the story: Our struggles in life develop our strengths. Without struggles we never grow and never get stronger, so it’s important for us to tackle challenges on our own, and not be relying on help from others.

Today’s transformational tips will assist in your growth:

  1. Get back to nature. Give yourself time in the woods, trekking in the mountains, walking in open meadows, or walking barefoot on the beach. When you take the time to drink in the beauty of the natural world, you will release your belief that things and accumulations are needed for you to feel complete.
  1. Give yourself the gift of a silent retreat every day, even if it is only for a few moments. Go back to that key of HIGHER AWARENESS — shutting down the inner dialogue — and know that this is your ticket to peace.
  1. Slow yourself down with moments of contemplative silence. That is, do nothing. In these moments, appreciate your body and all of your physical universe. Notice the inner waves of pleasure that you experience.

How to Get Peace of Mind

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Ego say, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.”

Spirit says, “Find your peace and then everything will fall into place.” 

Once there was a farmer who realized that he had lost his watch in the barn. This watch had been passed down for several generations and had sentimental values attached to it. After searching high and low among the hay for a long while; he gave up and thought of taking help from a group of children, who were playing outside.

The children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the entire stacks of hay but still could not find the watch. Just when the farmer was about to give up, a little boy came to him and asked to give him another chance. The farmer agreed and sent the little boy back into the barn alone. After a while the boy came out with the watch in his hand.

The farmer was both happy and surprised and so he asked the boy how he succeeded where the rest had failed. The boy replied, “I did nothing but sit on the ground and listen. In silence, I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction.”

A peaceful mind can think better than a worked up and pre-occupied mind.

Today’s transformational tips will help you keep peace in your mind:

  1. Attempt to remove all enemies from your thoughts. The same intelligence that flows through you, flows through all human beings. When you know that, you are connected to all, you cannot fathom striking out at others, let alone feeling hatred for them.
  1. Keep in mind that grievances bring turmoil, while communication brings peace. If you are angry at someone in your life, work at communicating with that person about your aggrieved feelings — no matter how difficult it maybe.
  1. In the midst of a tumultuous meeting or a frantic encounter with your children (or anyone for that matter), get up and excuse yourself for a moment. Give yourself five minutes to get centered, and ask God this question: “What is my purpose here, and how may I serve you in the midst of this confusion?”

Having a “peace of mind” is not a strenuous job, it is an effortless process!  So set peace of mind as your highest goal and organize your mind around it.

Why is it so Hard to Live in the Present Moment

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Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.

 What is mindfulness?  Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment. In other words, it’s being present with experience.

There are many benefits to being mindful, including improving:

  1. Overall well-being (less likely to get caught up in worry, doubt & fears)
  2. Physical health (relieve stress, treat heart disease, improve sleep, etc.)
  3. Mental health (help with depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, etc.)

Why do we have a hard time being mindful?

There are many reasons why being mindful is hard, but today I’ll speak on three of them:

  1. You don’t really understand what it is. Mindfulness is not about moving through life in a happy haze. It’s about choosing to pay attention to the moment with kindness and curiosity. It’s about noticing when your mind has wandered and bringing it back to what’s right in front of you.
  1. You’re too distracted and don’t make time to do it. It really doesn’t take a lot of effort. You can take a deep breath before you hit the SEND button, or notice your breathing while standing in line, or even notice a wandering mind while in a meeting.
  1. You’re only practicing when you’re upset. The more you practice paying attention to the present moment when you’re calm and happy, the easier and more effective it’ll be when you’re freaking out.

Today’s transformational tips will help you practice mindfulness:

  1. Relax about the future, and let it go. Instead, make an active commitment to enjoy this day a little more. It is very difficult to accomplish anything when you are stressed over the outcome. When you relax and get peaceful, you become inspired and efficient.
  1. Remember that what you think about expands. Since you have the power to make your inner world work for you or against you, use it to create the images of bliss that you want to occur in your material world. Eventually, that inner bliss will be the blueprint that you consult as the architect of your everyday life.
  1. Develop the ability to witness your thoughts by stepping back and watching them enter and exit your mind. Just observing the flow of thoughts wills low the mind down to the still point where you can experience God.

You have more control of your life than you realize.  It just requires being in the present moment and focus on what you want in that moment.

How to Stop Judging Yourself and Others

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The soul tends always to judge others by what it thinks of itself. -Giacomo Leopardi-

Despite our best efforts, we all judge others. It might be over small things, like a seeing a woman with tight-fitting clothes. Or it might be over bigger issues, such as when we treat others differently solely because of their mental health, singling them out as different, strange or someone to avoid.

Understand that our perceptions of others reveal so much about our own personality.

Studies have found that how positively you see other people shows how satisfied you are with your own life, and how much you are liked by others.

Whereas a huge list of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively – things like narcissism, antisocial behavior and other various personality disorders – not to mention there’s a greater likelihood of depression as well.

No one likes to be judged.  Why?  Because judging hurts – ourselves and those that we judge.  Therefore, we must be very careful and stop doing it.

If you’re struggling to stop judging others, here are some tips to help:

  1. If you see someone who is very different from you in physical appearance or in age or in economic status, use your mind to send them love rather than a judgmental thought.
  1. Make a daily effort to look upon others (including yourself) without condemnation. Every judgment takes you away from your goal of peace. Keep in mind that you do not define anyone with your judgment; you only define yourself as someone who needs to judge.
  1. Notice the acts of kindness that other people do, rather than their wrongdoing. We are all good, decent, loving souls, but we occasionally get lost. When you can focus on the good in another and hold that in your mind, you are acting from your higher self.

We should never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path; but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.

Stop Playing the Blaming Game

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Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it. ~Eckhart Tolle.

 

When something goes wrong in your life, is your first reaction to blame someone else?

You know, things like saying that the person in front of you was driving so slow it made you late, or blaming lack of time, your children or other circumstances for not getting your work done – or even if you slip and fall on some water and so the world is out to get you!

If so, you’re engaging in what is commonly known as the blame game.

I know you’re familiar with this game…. situations in which one someone blames others for something bad or unfortunate rather than attempting to accept responsibility and seek solutions.

Why do we play this game?  Well, there are several reasons why.  Some include:

  1. It’s a defense mechanism. It helps us preserve our sense of self-esteem by avoiding awareness of our own flaws or failings.
  2. It’s a tool we use when we’re in attack mode – yes, we use it to try to hurt others (knowingly or not), and
  3. Quite simply it’s easier to blame someone else other than accept responsibility.

Regardless of why we play it, understand that the more you play the more you lose.

Today’s transformational tips will help you accept your fallibility on your route toward self-improvement:

  1. Take full responsibility for all the events in your life. When you blame something outside of yourself for the circumstances you are experiencing, you give control of your life to that outer phenomenon. When you release blame, and go within, you will always find what you need.
  1. When you feel an inclination to blame someone else for your circumstances, take an instant to say a prayer of thanks for the lesson. The lesson is to become aware that you are the one experiencing the feeling.
  1. Be peaceful, experience silence, meditate, and really listen to God. The result will be that you will find the solution to each of your problems within yourself.

Owning up to your role in bad situations will help you grow from your experiences, so embrace this imperfect universe and the fallible beings in it, including yourself and others —and stop blaming people for it.