A Very Important Life Skill to Have

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The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.

Being able to communicate effectively is the most important of all life skills.

Communication is the process by which we exchange information between one place to another. It is a process where we try as clearly and accurately as we can, to convey our thoughts, intentions and objectives.

Understand that there are two types of responses that can be received from a person: 

1. A loving response

2. A cry for help

When your interpretation of a response from someone is other than one of love, ask yourself the following question, “What’s going on with this person that is making him or her treat me this way?

Keep in mind when someone responds to you other than what you expected (which is a loving response), their reaction is based upon one of two things:

(1) their own mental state or

(2) their interpretation of what has (and sometimes has not) been communicated by you.  

In other words, all you can control is your ability to communicate more effectively, you cannot control the interpretation of it.  

Additionally, understand that sometimes the response you receive has nothing to do with you!

It all can be very complicated, but here are 3 transformation tips that can help you stay in a calm, patient space so that you can respond in a loving way: 

1.  Begin keeping track of the judgmental thoughts that you allow into your mind each day.  Increasing your awareness of this judging habit will help you consult your loving presence as these judgmental attitudes surface.

2. Give more of yourself, ask less in return.  When serving others become a priority, you will start asking the universe, on a daily basis, “How may I serve?” 

3. Always give a loving response. Think and when appropriate say, “how can I make you feel better?

 Commit to having fun-loving response in all circumstances and your life will change forever.

How to Lighten Your Load

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You only lose what you cling to. (Buddha)

Dramatic life changes can occur when you make a conscious effort to only surround yourself with those higher value things that you truly desire in your life.

Do you have an assortment of stuff that you don’t use or simply takes up space?

Do you have ongoing obligations to things that add little to no value to your life that you wouldn’t agree to do if you were asked to commit to them today?

If you answered “yes’’ any of these questions, guess what? It’s time to lighten your load.  Here are three things you can do to start:

  1. Let go of the concept that more is better. This idea keeps us constantly seeking more stuff. You can replace the more-is-better belief with an inner serenity that does not need “more” to be acceptable.
  1. Lighten your material load, starting TODAY. As you do so, less energy is spent hoarding, insuring, moving, polishing, and so on. The less attached you are to your possessions, and the more you are able to share them with others unconditionally, the more peaceful your life will be.
  1. Practice generosity. People who give willingly of their possessions and their money are not doing it because they “have it to give.” They are coming from a special heart space that is attracted to serving and sharing. We can all give something in the service of others and in service of our higher-selves.

By learning to let go of the non-essential things that contribute very little value to your life, it will enable you to make room for things of higher value.

How to Get Rid of Self-Limiting Beliefs

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If you think you can do a thing or can’t do a thing, you are right! (Henry Ford)

 

Are you familiar with the way circus elephants are trained?

When an elephant is small and weak, one leg is tied with a rope to a wooden stick.  Initially, the elephant tries to break free but the rope is too strong and the elephant is convinced that breaking free is impossible.

Years later when the baby elephant is grown to 6 or 7 tons, despite its enormous strength, it’s still easily constrained by a light rope and a thin wooden stake.  The elephant learns its limitations when it is small and weak.  It remains convinced for the rest of its life that what was once true will always be true.

The elephant remains imprisoned by limiting beliefs when clearly it has the strength to pull that itty-bitty stake out the ground and free itself at any moment.

Now I ask you this…

In what ways are you like a big powerful elephant who is convinced you are weak and powerless?  In what areas of your life are you convinced you can’t?

The truth is you posses the key to infinite power.

Here are three ways to tap into that infinite power within you:

  1. Discard self-limiting beliefs. Have a mini ritual of discarding a self-limiting belief by denying its validity and stating that you no longer subscribe to it. Do this often.
  1. Just be. Let go of all the beliefs that convince you of your inadequate and shortcomings.  Clean out that closet of worn-out loyalties to what you can and cannot do.  Just open yourself up right in this moment and just be.
  1. Release everything that you have been told is impossible or unrealistic and allow yourself the freedom to make your own contract with God about what is possible for you.

Observe yourself and become aware of your limiting beliefs that prevent you from living the life you deserve.  Just by becoming aware of them, you will see that you will start to make much more progress on your goals.

Self-Love Must Come First

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Before you can fully receive the love of another person, you must first love yourself.

Unfortunately, many people have a hard time giving this gift and are more concerned with giving love to others rather than giving it to themselves.

Self-love is the foundation for everything beautiful in life, including meaningful and healthy relationships, having a positive attitude and body image, increased self-esteem and overall peace, joy and happiness.

People come and go so it’s important to love yourself because that’s who you will be spending the rest of your life with.

Here are three things you can do TODAY to cultivate self-love:

      1. Work at being content with who you are, rather than pleasing others by being inauthentic. Say to yourself, “I am what I am, and it is okay as long as I am not hurting anyone else in the process.”
      2. Forgive yourself for your transgressions. See that mistakes are lessons for you to transcend. Release yourself from the tyranny of self-recrimination. Make the decision to be free.
      3. Look into a mirror and say out loud: “I love you, I value you, and I know that there is much more to you than what I see staring back at me.”

You will find yourself going beyond the physical you and removing many of your intrusive thoughts about defending yourself and attempting to prove your worth.

The greatest give you can give yourself is yourself — filled with self-love.

Are you ready for the happy life you deserve?  I invite you to join my free challenge: 7 Days of Self-Love.

Lessons in Life

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Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.

Lessons in life reminds us that we have a real reason to be here.

Here are 3 transform tips that will help you to move forward in your life and not focus on the past.

1. Give up hope for a better past

You cannot have a better past, so abandon that idea right now.  You did what you knew how to do, given the circumstances of your life.  Instead of indulging in regrets, let your thoughts remain on love, and let your actions stem from that love.

2. Learn from your lessons

Focus on what you can learn from your challenges and how to use them to add value to the lives of others.  Doing this will turn any adversity into an advantage.

3. Remember the lessons

This will help you so that you don’t have to continue repeating them.

Learning from your life lessons and working toward understanding them will promote progress and insight.

Doing This “1” Thing Will Significantly Change Your Life Forever!

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Are you ready for it?  Take a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Okay, here it is…

The answer is this:  CHANGE THE THOUGHTS YOU THINK!

You know that voice in your head — your ego — that persistent chatter that is with you all the time?

If you actually listen to what you are thinking, it’s really not that interesting. Not only that, it’s cyclical, repetitive, repeating, recurring, and redundant!

Did you know that 95% of your thoughts do not serve you at all. They are adding no value to your life— and they are probably making you miserable.

But don’t worry, today’s transformational tips will help you.

#1 Observe your thoughts – Not all of your thoughts are negative, but I bet the ratio of the positive thoughts to the meaningless thoughts that rule the majority of your headspace is probably a lot different than you suspect.

Categorize each thought that appears. By naming the thought, you are learning the critical skill of detaching from it.

 

#2: Kill the ANTs!  Ants is an acronym coined by Dr. Amen.  It stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts.  ANTs are cynical, gloomy, and complaining thoughts that just seem to keep coming all by themselves.  ANTs can cause you to be depressed and fatalistic, which can have a profound impact on your life.

Examples of ANTs include:

“You never listen to me.”
“You don’t like me.”
“I can’t do it.”
“I should have done much better. I’m a failure.”
“I have a bad memory.”

How do you kill the ANTs?  This brings us to tip #3

#3: Never finish a negative statement! Reverse it immediately and wonders will happen in your life. If you have thoughts indulged in fear, worry and other destructive forms of negative thinking, your subconscious mind will accept your negative thoughts as requests and will proceed to bring them into your experience.

To remedy this is to begin devoting your thoughts to kindness, peace, forgiveness and gratitude.  Your subconscious mind, being creative, will then proceed to create those attributes in your life.

In conclusion, never affirm inwardly anything that you do not want to experience outwardly.

If you enjoyed this post, please tune in to watch my LIVE Facebook Broadcast, “Transform Your Life in 15 Minutes“.  You’ll get 5 minute exercises to help you transform your mind, body & soul.  It’s filmed Monday – Saturday at 6 am PST.

3 Ways to Transform Your Life TODAY

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What is transformation? 

Let’s dissect the word:  Formation is the action of forming or process of being formed. It is your physical form and the boundaries that we experience.  Think in terms of your physical body.

The word “trans” is a prefix that means to go beyond.  When you put the two words together, it means to go beyond the boundaries of our physical form.

Why Should You Transform Your Life?

Your life is your signature creation. Therefore, it is your duty to live true to yourself with authenticity and be the greatest possible expression of who you are.

Here are 3 Ways You Can Transform Your Life Today:

1.  Begin.

Begin looking forward at who you are and why you are here instead of outward at the physical world or anything in it.

2.  Grow.

Know that there is an invisible intelligence in everything.  You have the power to make contact with this Divine Intelligence and create a life of bliss.

3.  Receive.Draw your inner energy from the beauty that surrounds you.  When you do so, this energy reception will become a source of strength and sustenance in your life.

If you enjoyed this post, please tune in to watch my LIVE Facebook Broadcast, “Transform Your Life in 15 Minutes“.  You’ll get 5 minute exercises to help you transform your mind, body & soul.  It’s filmed Monday – Saturday at 6 am PST.

The Work of Loving Yourself

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Take care how you speak to yourself because you are listening!

“Love yourself” is simple to say and sometimes the most difficult thing to do. 

Why? Because:

        It means asking ourselves what love is.

        It means asking ourselves what we believe our value to be.

         It can mean dismantling a lifetime of false and or negative beliefs.

Self-love matters because YOU matter! No matter what your programming is, you have the power to change it.

Here are 5 things you can do to get started.

1.  Become mindful through meditation.  This is hands-down the best thing you can do for yourself.  If you don’t take the time to quiet your mind, how can you hear what God is trying to tell you?

2. Forgive yourself. We humans can be so hard on ourselves! One of the downsides of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes we make while learning and growing. It’s time to accept that you perfectly perfect just the way you are.

3. Practice self-care.  This isn’t just about engaging in healthy activities like sound nutrition, exercise and getting proper sleep. Those are a given.  I mean being careful in what you are thinking and the way you talk to and about yourself!

4. Create a community of support.  As much as we would like to think we can, we can’t do everything ourselves. You need the support and love from people around you to stay motivated and on track.

5. Write in a journal.  It’s important to express your true feelings and the best way to do this is to write it down in your journal.  Make this your best friend.  It’s something you can tell all your secrets to and not worry that it will get out.

Remember, if you want something different, you have to do something different!  The choice is yours. 

YOU have the power!

I’ve created a free 7 Days of Self-Love Challenge. I invite you to join me!  Click on the link to sign up. 

Why do we hurt ourselves?

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In order to save myself I must destroy who I was told to be.

Have you ever wondered why it is that we keep doing the things that we don’t want to keep to be we keep doing them anyway?

You know, things like overeating, drinking, doing drugs, gossiping, staying in abusive relationships….  The list is endless.  

Is it what we were taught? What we saw?  Is it to distract us from the feelings we feel?  To numb us? 

Yes!

In other words, it’s because we want to stay connected to the very thing or person who hurt us.

You see, it’s subconscious reactions to negative programming.  Our mind is like an iPod. The conscious part is like play wheel (remember the old ones?) while the the subconscious mind is simply playing what was programmed into us  – BUT at an early age. 

Understand that no matter how bad it is, if that is what you experienced at a young age then you want it.  It’s like Pavlov’s dog.  You keep going back to what you know. Why? Because there is comfort in knowing – no matter what it was/is.  

Even if:

  • you know how it has negatively affected you – you want what you know.
  • the person who did it to you is no longer doing it – in some way you do something to yourself to feel connected to it.

Thankfully, a little bit of knowledge goes a long way!  Now that you know, when you’re really ready, you can do something about it. 

Remember, the first stage of learning is knowing what you don’t know.  Welcome to stage two – being aware.

Tomorrow we will discuss things to do.

Why Self Love Matters

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If you don’t realize your own value, it makes it easier for others to miss it too!

Do you want to attract love into your life?
Do you want to live with more abundance?
Do you desire be happy and healthy?

These things can only be found in a place of love. And guess what? It starts with self-love.

So what is self-love? It is a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.  It’s unconditional feeling of love, appreciation and acceptance for yourself.

Self-love putting yourself first. It’s taking care of you.

We tend to give, give, give!

We give to family, friends and employers – with all this giving, when do we make time to give to ourselves?

So why does self-love matter?

Because it is essential for your life!

Self-love:

  1. Allows you to know who you are.
  2. Allows you to take care of yourself.
  3. Allows you to move on – only you have the power to move yourself forward.

So why does it matter?  Because you matter!